Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side

this is awesome! i didn't think the music video could be like this before, i thought it would be about a couple. but it isn't. it contains really really good meaning in it, not just for teenagers, but also people all age. it teaches us to stop bullying and any kind of violence, to love who we are, to sincerely love people no matter what they did, to forgive and forget what the past is.Kelly is a diva!!

Cracked Stone

secrecy...  

is something that is kept by certain people 'just' for themselves. i've lived for seventeen years and i've survived with it, secrets. i was so small when the first time i knew what it is like to have a secret, i'm not really sure i think it's when i'm 8, in the third grade of elementary. i remember those were happy days with only 800 rupiahs on my pocket, and always went home through a really tiny lane between two houses. and there's also one kid who had the same way home with me, he always walked in front of me. but our ways were branched in the edge of the lane. since we were kids, we didn't really know how to say goodbye to each other, though at that time there's still a childish gap between us. so when we reached the tip of that narrow alley, he turned one's head, he looked at me, and i simply just glared at him, then we walked apart. all those happened without any smile or specific emotion drawn on our faces. yeah that's just that. 

And the moment, when we washed our feet after PE in the side of river. we're not really in the river actually, there's a cracked stone in the fringe of the river which had a really refreshing water flowing out. it's also cleaner by the way, because the water from the river had been filtered by the stone. unique thing of this water flowing way was... there's also small river above it, it flew across the big one. i sat on a rock and put my shoes side by side by the other while cleaned up my tiny toes. i played a little with a small black snail which had cone shaped shell, i was fearless when i was little, now i'm a chicken. with the wind blowing and the rush of overflown water, that clumsy friend of mine made a beautiful disaster by kicking my shoes accidentally. i endured my crying all the way back to class, my friend felt so guilty that she couldn't dare to look at my face and talk to me. i went directly to my seat and drowned my face in my arms. i was in the 'please, leave me alone' situation, then i felt something knocking on my head. i lifted my head up, all i saw were my other blue-white shoe - the right one - and the tired face of little boy that covered up with water. i wasn't really sure what's happening until he knocked my shoe on my head again. i took my shoe from his hand as he walked away, left me with small amount of water in  the corner of my eyes. 

as we grew older, those innocent faces faded. the small narrow lane had been closed by the owner one of the houses. the water that flew from a cracked stone was already stopped streaming. both already had a thing we called a 'clique', both already had what we called hype friends. even, things getting really worse, when i finally moved out of town. all my friends gave me goodbye hug before i left, they gave me their best drawing on their goodbye cards, even my teachers gave me good luck charm. so when all's set, my bags are packed, the mover truck already loaded up, i got in the car, i looked at the rear view mirror, all my friends waved goodbye when i left. all of them, but him. he saved his both hands on his pocket, stared coldly at my car, with no emotion written all over. 

both kept each other feelings as a secret, i didn't know what he want and so did he. and if in the future someone ask me about him, i'd say i knew him,very well.

hellooo everybody, that was my really really short fictive story :p which i wrote because i was bored. i do have so much to tell, but all the words just hang on in the air, can't really describe what i feel right now, because mostly, yes, relieved of everything that i've got, scared of what's gonna happen in the next 72 hours, sad of missing my friends so bloody much, terrified, confused, surprised. all of these are mixed here, in my head, and i'm not gonna keep it this way, i know i'm messed up yet mixed up but i'm not gonna make this lil' girl inside my body feels miserable, so the suggestion of being happy is still going on right now. wish me luck on my both exam's announcements, k?

Glee - To Sir, With Love

i bloody miss this song, i used to listen to it all the time in the beginning of my second year in SHS. My favorite part is Santana's part

Famous People's Prom Pictures

Brad Pitt (1982) 

Dianna Agron (2003)

Lady Gaga

Taylor Lautner (2008)

Taylor Swift (2007)

Amanda Seyfried (2002)

Source: Us Weekly 

Gamaliel & Audrey - Turn Up The Music/We Found Love (Acapella)

Post It to God

lemme remind you i'm a moslem

Ya Allah,

i'm really really sorry for everything that i've done, i'm down on my knees begging for your forgiveness. please please please, forgive me for making any bad things. i'm sorry sometimes i forget to thank You, i'm sorry sometimes i forget that i have You, i'm sorry sometimes i have bad prejudice to You, i'm sorry sometimes i disrespect Your rules, i'm sorry sometimes i ignore Your call, i'm sorry i'm not a good moslem, i'm sorry i'm barely touch Quran, i'm sorry sometimes i'm so superglad that i forget to always remember You, i'm sorry i can do nothing to remind my friends to be always with You, i'm sorry i always make You disappointed, i'm so sorry    i dislike some of Your creatures, i'm so sorry i bail on some prays, i'm sorry sometimes i brake my promise, i'm sorry i'm a bad bad girl, i'm sorry for everything.

i'm really really scared right now, i have made a whole lot of sins, it's uncountable, way more than my kindness. i'm really really sorry. You give me everything, You never make me feel un-enough, You always grant my wish, You give me the best. i'm so sorry, i don't know how many times i will say sorry, but i know it'll never be enough. You give me the best people to guide me, You give me perfect life. You give me sunrise when i go to school, plus sunset when i go back home, those are the best scenery You give me everyday, i don't even pay for those, and i don't even ask for those beautiful beautiful things, but You give me anyway. thank you soooo much.

thanks for giving the best couple who raises me, i don't wanna make them disappointed, i can't stand to not cry when i see both of them crying, that's the worst feeling. celebrating Idul Fithri and Idul Adha unusually without them around is like... i can't describe it. seeing them smile when i know everything is absolutely going wrong is like... my heart's cut, but i know i have to go with it, i may not break their forced smile. it's really really... hard. you mustn't have known how you feel when you sleep in front of ICU room, and suddenly you're awaken by the voice of woman crying, then you find out, it's the woman who gave you birth. and the feeling when the strongest man you know in your life suddenly gets the red eye, falls ashore on his knees and begins to tear up. please please please Ya Allah, please give them all Your mercy.

Ya Allah, if You wanna punish me, please i'm begging You, i really really beg You to not involve them in it. give the punishment for my sins just to me, don't involve them.

please give me the best result for every single examination that i've taken, i may haven't done the best, but please grant all my prayers. i swear to You, i don't wanna disappoint them. i'm afraid they may disappointed in me. i know i know... i know i've already made a lot of mistakes and sins. but please please please, give me the best. please please please let me get what i want, let me make them proud, let me make them smile a really pure beautiful smile, let me make them happy, let them loosen their burden a lil bit, let them fell free for a while. please i beg You, help me. i have nothing. give them everything. lighten their life. i love them so much.

i've failed thousands time, but Your mercy still remains. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Boyfriend vs Girlfriend - Justin vs Alyson Stoner

in my opinion, THIS is waaaaay better....




than THIS, the original one. Sorry Justin

 

Kelly Clarkson - Cry ( Glee Cover )

She, She and Me

s'up guys? it's been the end of holiday, i've got to prepare my full course day next week, and i have to get ready for the final exam result and the invitational announcement. it's been tough week without my friends around, i miss my routine, school days. but actually i've been busy lately working on my driving license - i went back and forth to the police station 5 times - and helping my juniors to prepare English Night 2012 entitled 'Alexandrite'

Alexandrite means a diamond which always change its color, and its meaning reflects the main role in our drama musical which will be the main show of English Night 2012. Alexandrite will be performed on May, 12th 2012. i'm not one of the performers though, but i'm just eeerrrr... kind of adviser. i think English Night will be splendid this year, can't wait to see it.

you know, business keeps you away from bad thinking. when you're at home, just accompanied by your laptop, all you can do is just stalking, blogging, twittering, those exciting things will be the boring one in a point. and then you just don't realize it, you start to daydream, you start digging all the memories behind you. i don't say it's a bad thing, i'm just afraid you're gonna be dragged to those sad melancholic things which bring you to a sadness. you know, i've been there, and i don't want you to be like me, so if you get those bad memories back, please drive your car or your bicycle or your motorcycle and go, look for something new, don't let yourself to be miserable alone in your room. grab your friends to go somewhere it'll be so much fun, huh? at least you can wipe away those bad feelings for a while. it doesn't matter if it comes back. please try another activity to be your distraction. play your music loud and smile. please be happy :)

the bad feelings that haunt me day by day is the fact that in no more than a month, all my friends will be separated. each has their own destinations, i am so sad to keep it together myself. i mean how can i communicate to them, what if they're busy, i'm so afraid if i disturb them, i'm afraid i'll just be a freak who ask their condition just in case i need someone to talk because that's my habit until now. i'm afraid i have no one to talk if they're far away. i'm afraid we will be awkward someday, like a stranger who just met, it will be really really bad. oh my God :'(

and to overcome those feelings, i always go somewhere talk to my friends for hours and then go back home with a lil smile. even though i'm still feeling it, it's good to know that some have the same tough feeling like mine. because they're my habit, and now i have to try living without them. i know some may think i'm tough and such a good bitch outside, but my close friends always know me better. i don't like the phrase 'best friend', because people these days give unright definition about best friend, i think i have mentioned my reasons in one of my post. i prefer brothers/sisters or close friends, other than that just 'friend' is enough.

today i went to the house of one of my close friend in junior high, we had so much good time, i never had no-good time with them though. it's also kind of distraction :p

cheers to all the youth of universe!

keep smiling keep shining! :)

adios!

-F-