That anxiety is real. The realest that i've ever imagined. I used to not like being called, now i'm terrified everytime my phone rings.
I always always check my whatsapp every single time, afraid that i may miss some things. I sleep late and get up early, and don't feel like sleeping at all. I don't feel sleepy, but i don't feel awake either.
The responsibility is big, and the way my upper man gives the tension is no kidding. He pressures me with kindness, it's even more suffocating.

Last week was the most intense week i'd ever had, well, maybe. It wasn't that hard knowing that i could stand still, not that exhausting as i predicted to be, even though we did more than two deadlines a day, everyday.
The most consuming part was that i became very sensitive about everything. Not only the anger part, but also the way everything touched my heart felt so heart breaking. The loneliness, the jealousy, the longing that freakishly deepen. All i wanted to do was to run away from everything here, but it's too scary to get up and moving on.
God, good Lord, help me up.