Knocking 2012's Gate

2011 : obnoxious - hidden - tense

my life seems a lil' bit horrible, huh?

hello universe! it's a brand new year already! who's excited??? say, not me. right after the first day of 2012 i have to go back to my routine, yep! my last senior high year. yeah time runs, people change, i grow, rain stops, sometimes sun shines but sometimes it doesn't.
to be frank i really have no intention to post or write or... yeah type. but then my solid friend came up on twitter telling his will to post something special in transition of 2011 - 2012, i didn't know where it came from but suddenly i just got lamp above my head. so we (the solid, living ladder and me) made a challenge on this post. its rules are reflected in first and last line, the other rule is to share it, and because of that rule i have to draft some posts, it's too dangerous you know it can cause world war III hahahahaha nah, kidding, it's just too insulting.

if i'm asked to tell what's going on in 2011, i will absolutely answer i have no idea, everything seems blur, cause i can't remember the details. but the best part is you can always count on seen memories, photos. by photos you can remember your activity, even the details of it, so bring your camera everywhere everytime and take whatever happen. so this is my summary of 2011, not good enough and the size is the biggest mistake, i did it in the middle of the night when sad song's played, you know the feeling, duh! --"
the box on top photo is taken from motion book, i didn't get the final though, my friends got it. Idioglossia is the title of our art show i've ever posted here for more information.

in January, based on my first photo that taken by my phone, my first day school in 2011 started in Friday, and my first photo is about art assignment -____-.

<--- this

sorry for the ugly whiteboard, i will even be more sorry if y'all know how's my school, but it's already International Standardize School (Mr. Val said it to me thousand times).

a little note, while searching photos page by page, folder by folder, i also searched the date, this is what i've got in the first day school of 2011 beside the art assignment. it should be appear in 'What were they thinking' on Yahoo!OMG, then he must've received a hard critic from Paris Hilton. - i don't know the co-relation, i just say - --"
i was thinking to blur his face to make sure people do not know him so he won't be ashamed, but nah! his face's already blur. no revenge, it's not Nida doing it, it's Jane.

that which reminds me of mixed photos i made few months ago and it's original, hasn't published yet, so this is the premiere

i don't know they tried to be fashionable or what? i think i'm gonna get going with 'or what'. but Thanks God they're cool now, after unspokenable war hahahaha *chuckles

2011 is the age of transition, my transition between 11 grader to 12 grader which means more responsibility is needed here. it's been a tough year, so many things changed, these and those were flipped, twist in every single corner of day.

for my family (perhaps) 2011 is the hardest year ever, in the beginning of the year my uncle was hospitalized, he got an accident. few people that had been assumed as part of my family passed away this year. the biggest, my sister got a big accident. she hit a car, something in her neck didn't run the way supposed to be. i didn't know why it happened to her. i couldn't hold my tears seeing the couple that raised me, both cried. it's like 'oh my God what am i gonna do? what am i supposed to do?', all that i could do was just keeping my own and my brother's safety at that time. everything was a mess. and this year is the first time of my life i went Sholat Ied without my mother and my sister, it's the first time of my life i didn't shop for Ied preparation, and the first time of my life i celebrated Ied in the hospital :)
my sister is a strong girl, even though she's still at home now, hasn't be able to walk yet, but she makes a progressive change. well, she will run soon hahahahaha

okay, FRIENDS, i don't wanna talk about the drafted post, everybody already knew though. all i wanna say is THANK YOU SO MUCH. without your knowing you always pull me out to laugh when i'm down. i love the way we're gossiping people, teacher, friends, government(?). and the fact, hanging out after school and going home late, is always fun indeed. you know the time when i don't wanna talk to anybody, fortunately y'all already know how to spell my name correctly and some of you have already known my house, so if there's something happen to me or i die, you will always know where to find me. all at once i just wanna thank y'all for helping, supporting, and being a good brother and sister for me, i love you ;)

important things that i get last year are trust and honesty. i've been taught about it since i was born, but i just realize there's a big deep meaning behind it.

okay, shoot 2012. turn the page but don't close the book, we're all in this together, we still have the story to walk on. i don't have specific wish or hope or resolution, i just want to have the same deal with my dad about college then be accepted there, my sister can walk, all of my friends get their dream, everyone's happy, Indonesia gets better then i'll be rich(?)

i spend new year's eve in Voila's house. we have a lot of fun, we have no plan before this i was just barging in to her house till afternoon watching horror movie with Atika too, but then suddenly the idea to stay coming up and it was good and awesome. we tapped some videos, took a lot photos and yeah fun things.

my unforgettable moment in 2011 : actually this isn't the best, it's the worst though, but it's unforgettable for me. it's the night before my friends and I watched Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part 2.

mission accomplished, yes?

Simple Plan ft. Natasha Bedingfield - Jet Lag

Taylor Swift - Safe and Sound

Carla Bruni - Quelqu'un m'a Dit

Friday Friday

school was on in Friday, there's a sport thing which is walking around the town which i skipped. i didn't plan it, i went to hospital to take Nana's stuff and i got stucked there for 2 hours. this is the second time i didn't join that school activity, the first is when i was in Penang. but i grabbed school at 9, so there were still a lot people there, and as i was planned i got Iput and Ade to help me make a photograph 'get well soon' for Nana. actually i had one other person more to help, but.. you know.
i got all that day activity pictures from Iput whom i really thanked for. well yeah, i just love them. it was a really full day for me, 2 hours skipping school staying at the hospital without parents' knowing, 2 hours at school busying around even i just have a chance to sit down calmly for 10 minutes, an hour back to the hospital, then i skipped course, take a nap for (you're not gonna believe this) 4 hours, get up and then go to the doctor, then sleep. easy as that --"
finally i feel what is the feeling to not feel anything, neither pleasure nor sad, just straight without any beat --------------------------------------------------------------- << like that






this morning i'll got my term test report, i don't care what's the result, all that i want is people can see which is the best from us or which is nothing from us, you know what i mean? i mean people get the result not from their really own ability. yeah let God gives them a thing.
advice from me, when you're feeling blue, grab your mobile and text your friend, it does help a lot ;)

now i'm twitter-ing while listening to Adele's concert. can't help but thinking too much

fakhriyyahK Fakhriyyah K

the next fifty years, i'm gonna tell my grandchild that i had really tough friends. they got really big matters in their life.

fakhriyyahK Fakhriyyah K

the better you are, the more struggle you get. maybe you seems weaker, but it makes you stronger than ever later.

fakhriyyahK Fakhriyyah K

then i will tell them (my grandchildren), that i was speechless reading their (my friends) texts and i was confused how to reply it.

then, i will tell my grandchildren that i saw contradiction faces between her (my friend) and her mom. her mom seemed soooo down, while she (my friend) tried to hide everything behind.

get well soon Nana
you're a hero before everything, you fight from the start by yourself, and you lead me to the right path
we love you, i love you <3

We're Still Here

A : so that's why you can't accompany me
N : yeah, i'm sorry, but i can't always have time for them

R : *staring at the laptop while smiling
M : why don't you stop smiling? you must've been really happy meeting them, right?

i have nothing to say seeing the world of non-sense
when the truth is hidden, and the fakers walk proudly on the road
whilst dollar being a God of God and all the matters are about brand
most people cling their half eye even though they sure can open both
truth is being endemic, them people are too afraid to say it
because they live on big mouth's hands

they use wall thick transparent ear muffs
so they can ignore crying hungry children, murmuring homeless people, screaming protesters
even National Anthem sometimes sounds less than meaningless
the choir sings just why they have to

.... to be continued i'm sleepy

i love this so much

finally term-test already gone, but i still have to punch the next hell-y semester.
okay, shoot. today, this afternoon, i had a super awesome great time with my friends. i know thanksgiving day already passed, but it's never too late to be thankful for. God lead me to the right path, i don't know what will i say but THANKS A LOT FOR EVERYTHING. i love them i love them soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH.
i learned a lot for the three years past, i was lost for a moment in the beginning of high school, then i got a grip. the unfitted one. but then it's released and i moved on. it's like i'm flying now, knowing everyone has the mutual bugs FEELS AWESOME. it's not we like to have enemy or something like that, but it's like we have a tons of cavalry that ready to help us when we got bammed.
my mind's mixed now, it's un-arranged. so many things i wanna say, but it's stucked, it's difficult when you were in A and you still have a part of B. and sometimes thinking positively doesn't always be good, and too innocent is too worst -___-.
Indonesia, i pray for you, i do not regret to be yours, but i'm just disappointed there are so many people like who i was before, once again i was lost. no wonder this country can't fly up high. it doesn't mean people like me can fly this country, NOOOO it doesn't mean like that, i mean how about making better change from ourselves first, nothing to lose though ;)

Struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
Santana - Glee : Hold On To Sixteen

God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me

Adele - Turning Table

Taylor Swift - Ours

they're not as close as my 'were'indeed, but with them i feel like a free electron. i can make a van der wals bonding, it's not too strong but it feels more. making a hydrogen bonding with my 'were' which is a strong bonding, just makes me feel trapped and if we're cut off, it hurts and hard.
they aren't always there anytime for me, not all of them are always beside me, but i care about them and they care about me, we laugh at ourselves not laugh and make a joke at other people, and it's always fun.

staying up late in the middle of the night, never knowing what's gonna happen next. unhearing owl, that night mythical creature, few years ago often came along bringing fear. now, the fear is way wider than that. curious curiouser no longer asks for anybody's business, further away has no clue where's the finish line of the labyrinth. those sisters and brothers bring thee to the most incredible ticking of a clock. the devil keeps approaching with no intention to change the atmosphere, they succeed by breaking the ozone layers and bringing the neutralizer down. cover by cover had been flipped but the life Maker haven't thrown the crown to this prown. rain brakes single tear, while lightning crashes a line screaming. those who never expected come over to have a tea, all that left behind gets along. some of species will see me be put under the ground, maybe they won't spent their eye's pond just for the one. known as fearless person, never make a body live forever. smith never be allowed to pass the bridge of curved-triangle, but the one who be allowed never having a will even just to leave a fingerprint, because the witch already puts a curse on the allowed one. flashing memory pulls me down in to a fulled misery jar. to build that castle to reach the flag to put hand above the head. please give more than take, stay bright, stand tall, sit down then take a breath.

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

it was a rainy afternoon, when i went out from my course heading to my friends house with my other two friends. i had a lil' chit chat with Zoe while we're waiting for Ann taking her jacket. then 10 minutes later, i clearly remember Ann appeared then Zoe and i jumped in our own motorbike.
we didn't have any bad thinking or ... yeah something like that. we're stopped by the traffic light near a bus station.
" I'm out of gas, you better go first ", I said
" i don't know her (my friend) house ", Ann said
" Zoe knows, just follow her ", I said that while my machine running
so, we splitted up, i took right to the gas station. the gas man was so nice, asking why i went home so late, and i was just ... you know course stuff. I left the gas station then.
i still ran my motorbike in a medium speed, and arrived right in front of my friend's house. but Zoe's and Ann's motorbikes weren't there yet, i was all confused by myself, then i turned around, took a random road, honestly i didn't know where to go.
no for long, Ann rang my phone.
" where are you? i've been here ", i said
" It's bad, Zoe fell ", she said it in panic
" what? but where are you right now? "
" just... go back. We're beside the court. Hurry! "
i turned my motorbike on and rode crazily. i couldn't find where they are, then i got a feeling that they're in that place, Ann walked out from the house, stared at me while pointing to Zoe that had been lying down surrounded unknown people. i was stuttered, speechless, and just Oh My God what the hell happened. i really really didn't say a word. we brought Zoe to the hospital.
i found Ann in the registration, she's so messed up. Zoe was in a transition room, when her father came, then her father completed the registration. Me and Ann, sitting in an emergency's waiting room, ALL SILENT, we're busy with our own mind. we didn't know what just happened. yeah we cried, made each other calm down, then her father permitted us to go home.

3 AM i woke up, i took a look on twitter and facebook it's all full of condolences words, okay what again. it's said my school's parking officer passed away. so many people attended his funeral, he's a nice person, he's the one who could remember almost all police number of our motorcycle.
and today, in 12PM sharp, my neighbor went away from this world, she's a grandma already, my mom said it's because of complication damage of her body, she's already old.
you know, what i'm saying is .... we never know when where God gives us a lesson to learn, we have to keep believing The One. be careful, make a peace, keep smiling and be happy :)

Justin Bieber - Mistletoe

i always have second thought every single time i wanna post something here. it's been decade i posted something here.
i just wanna stay silent, cause it's not comfortable anymore write anything here, it's like you put big sound system around the world, then you sing on a microphone.
moreover, i don't like people talk about every shits i put here. i don't like those craps who obsessed and checking on all of my accounts regularly. it's okay if you give more attention, but your way is way too wrong. it's like i've been stared all the time, and i do not like that. very much.
that is why i reduce the way i tweet, post and link something.
so, please be normal, back off and i beg you to move on.

Gamal, Audrey & Cantika - Skyscraper

You know that feeling? When you’re just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you’re tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay. But no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won’t be. But you’re still hoping. And you’re still wishing. And you’re still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.


http://insanepsychosupergoddess.tumblr.com/

Super Magnifier

today i had a biology class, and my teacher asked us to have an experiments about growth, i had to slice a seed and examined the seed with magnifier, then i had to draw what i saw on report book, it was so much fun, my teacher is sooo kind, she let us to play with the magnifier, even more she laughed when i wrote my friends' name on seeds.

Spread The Love

playing with heart-shaped origami, and adding a paper stick on it

Party of The LQI

it was last wednesday, the d-day we decided to have breaking fasting at Pram's house.
before i went there, i had to take chemist course, and i was soooooo excited at that time i kept my positive energy inside my head, just in case my mood would swing around freely.
maybe part of them (my classmates) worried about what to wear how they looked like, but me a big fat no no, i took simple randomly outfit 'cause you know what, to be ordinary among the extraordinaries is superordinary.
i rode my motorcycle with Ade, it was beautiful dusk. when i arrived at pram's, my friends already played poker WITHOUT meee. then i grabbed another pack of cards and asked Iput, Arden, Ade, Nita to join me.
when adzan was heard, we went to the food lounge without any command. then we did sholat, and had a BBQ party, watched Super 8, danced around together, sang together, everything. we had so much fun.

playing poker


preparing LCD to watch Super 8


grabbing the meal

Thoughts in One

• when i'm stucked in a silence, i will always be trapped in the past memory, guilty feeling that can not be hid all the time. sometimes it comes up with no command, all by itself.
• you see my laugh? it's not fake, it's my expectation to be like that as always.
• i can say i have no care to everyone special anymore, people are the same in my eyes. i told every single secret that i have and i don't know why i really trust them. i don't really care either if they reveal it to whoever else.
• 'always happy' theory that is told by my teacher, for me, in my opinion, doesn't work. you will not be happy if you never felt how sad your life is.
• i just realized i can adapt easily with no matter what circumstances lately.
• TEEN CHOICE AWARDS 2011 WAS A BLAST, i love T-Swift sooo much, i hate Selena Gomez. she's not a good friend, she has fun only with her boyf when Demi sat alone on another far away seat. in my real life, i play Demi.
• I RULE MY LIFE
• i'm a rock, but i'm also a jelly, it's yummy :d

Coming soon ....

we had an expression class today, it was so much fun, playing drama whole season

to be continued .....

Friendship Songs

i made this post BECAUSE:

i made a project with my friend, and it's theme is friendship. it's a kind of slideshow of photos, and we needed backsong, so i surfed the google to look for friendship song. all that i'd got was .... yeah a lot of friendship songs but it's.... 20 years ago -____-. so here are my friendship song recommendation:

1. Hannah Montana - True Friend

2. Hannah Montana - Right Here

3. Demi Lovato - Gift Of A Friend

4. Ashley Tisdale - We'll be Together

5. Spice Girls - Friendship Never Ends

6. Taylor Swift - Fifteen

7. Demi Lovato & Selena Gomez - One and The Same

8. Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

9. Mocca (indonesian) - Friend

10. OST Camp Rock 2 - This Is Our Song

11. Hannah Montana - Wherever I Go

12. Haley Orrantia - The Magic Of a Friend

13. Taylor Swift - I'm Only Me When I'm With You

3rd Grader

i haven't posted anything good yet lately, because of the combination of lazy and busy. by the way, now i have stepped on 3rd grade, it's time of full dizziness, this year every single 3rd graders will be pressed to decide their own future. it's kinda scary but just go with it. i have decided my future too, but i'm still not sure where i'm gonna take it in what university. oh in this last year my school has a brand new uniform, it's batik you know, batik is our traditional cloth.

i have to attend extra study hours too, join course, do not sleep in the class, and try to appreciate all of my friends, once again this is our last year, guys. and all the teachers were so cruel this week, we got A LOT OF homework and reports, don't you think we have 3 brains, huh? #ignore. here are some photos where i take course.

i'm happy i've figured out something, i'm happy i've found myself not the guilt one
thanks VDE, IB, ALR, ADK, DRP, RPH, who had patiently listened to my grumbble
oh i almost forgot, Welcome Ramadhan the holy month of moslems, a month to go before The Great Winning Day Idul Fithri

Gamaliel & Audrey ft. Georgina - Best thing i never had (coover

to be honest i didn't really like this song when i heard it the first time by Beyonce, i downloaded the music video but i just said like 'yeah, okay', but then this siblings showed me awesome side of this song, now i think it's a brilliant song ;)

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

Today's Report

IN

• two ice cream MOOs
• receiving material books from Neutron
• Bakso Idola, Rizqi's treat
• got copies of photo from Rizqi & Voila
• watching singing competition
• two of my friends go to the next step of singing competition
• laughing, happy enough

OUT

• 2million rupiahs to pay course
• Jessie J's album for Rizqi & Yetty
• missing 1 promise, and messing 2 promise at the same time
• the awkward situation stands still
• chaos schedule
• too much apologizing, because too much disappointment that i've made
• accidentally see someone that i don't want, he smiled

Beaches in A Row

2-07-2011, when i was dying because of boring, my mom asked me to go out to the beach with my uncle who just landed from Timika, Irian Jaya. so why should i say no. first, we went to Depok beach, it's in Jogjakarta, actually the beach isn't that good, but it has fish market on it so we can shop fish there. and the second is Parangtritis beach, also in Jogjakarta, near from the beach before, and it's not the best but it's better than Depok beach. yeah yeah help yourself, google knows everything.

#first beach

i'm too lazy too write those photos' description, so you can see it yourself here

#second beach