A 'Lil Pep Talk

we do feel sad we do not literally fail but the result of our hard work doesn't really good. people can say 'at least we've tried hard', but that's not calming. we know we've done our best but we also know we don't deserve more. once again at least we try. i don't get the people who say if you can't do it it's better for you to not work on it. i can not possibly think that way because the other people say you won't know if you never try, well you may get wrong but i do really agree if the effort and the journey of that result need to be counted. yes you think logically, but in life sometimes logical thinking hurts.

you know what hurts the most, it's when you think you are a candle. you lighten up people around you, but you sacrifices yourselves, you are getting burn. you destroy yourselves while build up another body and soul. you teach your friends and get C while around you get B. sometimes i feel like life is unfair, yes, life is too cruel to be admitted. at that point you need to flipped your card, go to the brighter side, take a deep breath and smile. this is not the end of the world. you're not dead just because the system, you are the system of your life, you can turn everything upside down. 

people say that the statements 'a failure is a postponed winning' is just an alibi of loser, but that loser still always have the will the hope and the belief to be the winner. the winner itself is to win yourself first, once you get a grip and be able to control yourself, and be your own system, congratulations, you rule your world baby :)

Ding Dong It's 2013

in the early of 2013, well happy new year, i got an extraordinary new year's eve, i thought it would be fun to have my old friend blend in with the new ones, well it should be. but no, what i felt wasn't something awesomely pleased. if i might, i would just say 'it's just okay'. i did know sometimes it's just me a little too sarcastic and skeptic, especially when i responded people's story. it's like you're not in that story, you're not interested and you ended up pretending that you're listening. i didn't and don't give a shit about change anymore, it's people's rights to change because i knew environment teach and people grow. so, yeah, just don't think too much.

i had my week fully at home before exams, but the assignments of basic aesthetic driving the whole class crazy this week. people were so stressful, they tweeted frequently, and today was the D-day. here's my result, i hated facebook for accusing me that i posted illegal video even though it's completely made by myself... except the song.

by the way i turned eighteen this week, i didn't expect anything much, i hid my birthday date on facebook because.... i don't like people wish me birthday just because facebook telling 'em, not because they remembered, meaning they didn't really care. and it also because i'd been threatened by egg and flour from my friends. so i let the ones who really care to lighten up my day, even though it's just five up to ten. there's no point of my birthday this year, i wasn't really sad but yet i wasn't happy, it's just so numb. a bunch of my freaky friends came to my home to give me some kind of surprise party.... which turned into a big failure, because i could definitely see them IN FRONT OF my house through the window. they begged me to pretend that i was surprised, then i did it. my birthday wish was white or red balloons, but they brought bubbles instead, yeah that's okay. and they gave me a clock... with alarm, stuff like that .__.

oh, almost forgot, i broke my cellphone, now i - perhaps - would use my dad's, but to earn something we needed sacrifices (said my dad), i had to copy all the contact number from one cell to another. curse you who taught people about sacrifices -____-

note for you people that i learnt in my bornday

" don't expect someone to give you special treatment, unless you're a princess, there's no heart who will loyally serve you a bliss"

and.... don't ever wish your sibling to be disappeared, remember Zathura!