Kelly Clarkson - Cry ( Glee Cover )

She, She and Me

s'up guys? it's been the end of holiday, i've got to prepare my full course day next week, and i have to get ready for the final exam result and the invitational announcement. it's been tough week without my friends around, i miss my routine, school days. but actually i've been busy lately working on my driving license - i went back and forth to the police station 5 times - and helping my juniors to prepare English Night 2012 entitled 'Alexandrite'

Alexandrite means a diamond which always change its color, and its meaning reflects the main role in our drama musical which will be the main show of English Night 2012. Alexandrite will be performed on May, 12th 2012. i'm not one of the performers though, but i'm just eeerrrr... kind of adviser. i think English Night will be splendid this year, can't wait to see it.

you know, business keeps you away from bad thinking. when you're at home, just accompanied by your laptop, all you can do is just stalking, blogging, twittering, those exciting things will be the boring one in a point. and then you just don't realize it, you start to daydream, you start digging all the memories behind you. i don't say it's a bad thing, i'm just afraid you're gonna be dragged to those sad melancholic things which bring you to a sadness. you know, i've been there, and i don't want you to be like me, so if you get those bad memories back, please drive your car or your bicycle or your motorcycle and go, look for something new, don't let yourself to be miserable alone in your room. grab your friends to go somewhere it'll be so much fun, huh? at least you can wipe away those bad feelings for a while. it doesn't matter if it comes back. please try another activity to be your distraction. play your music loud and smile. please be happy :)

the bad feelings that haunt me day by day is the fact that in no more than a month, all my friends will be separated. each has their own destinations, i am so sad to keep it together myself. i mean how can i communicate to them, what if they're busy, i'm so afraid if i disturb them, i'm afraid i'll just be a freak who ask their condition just in case i need someone to talk because that's my habit until now. i'm afraid i have no one to talk if they're far away. i'm afraid we will be awkward someday, like a stranger who just met, it will be really really bad. oh my God :'(

and to overcome those feelings, i always go somewhere talk to my friends for hours and then go back home with a lil smile. even though i'm still feeling it, it's good to know that some have the same tough feeling like mine. because they're my habit, and now i have to try living without them. i know some may think i'm tough and such a good bitch outside, but my close friends always know me better. i don't like the phrase 'best friend', because people these days give unright definition about best friend, i think i have mentioned my reasons in one of my post. i prefer brothers/sisters or close friends, other than that just 'friend' is enough.

today i went to the house of one of my close friend in junior high, we had so much good time, i never had no-good time with them though. it's also kind of distraction :p

cheers to all the youth of universe!

keep smiling keep shining! :)

adios!

-F-

Oh! Them...

so i worked on my new project, it's making a documentary of my classmates. it's kinda the simple one, i'm lack of material and tool. i just like them a lot after all we've been through, and realizing that we're gonna graduate soon makes me having a bad feeling. there were a lot of things going on in our three senior years, the bad, the good, sad, happy, surprising, hate, love etc.
i've got so many adventures with them physically and psychologically. they taught me everything, how to be a good leader, how to be a good person, how to treat people nicely, how people have so many characters, how the bitches life are, how gaps can divide people's social life, how to gain love, how honesty is the most important thing in the world, how to be strong, how friendship can be broken, how to change thing, how a change causes another changes and so much more :)
so here's my ugly work :p

and all i wanna say is just....
thank you... thank you so much :)

It's Kinda Funny

Hi stalkers!!

that thing when you feel bored, then you text some friends. and you feel the way they reply it isn't as sincere as usual. you just wanna share what you feel, you just wanna know their condition because you barely meet them, you just don't wanna feel alone, and you just wanna kill the boredom. all you get is the feeling that you are an annoying person. sometimes they reply your message in a long time after you send it out, the worst is they don't reply you back. maybe it's kinda not really big deal for some people, but when you used to do that and suddenly everything comes out twisted, it doesn't run as it always. what do you feel?

this big question always comes up, 'am i disturbing?'. it gives your day a lil bit obstacle to be happy. even you hurl your bad mood to another friends. you begin to not listen back to what they say. but you're not supposed to do that to those people. the effects will spread to your surroundings. all you gotta do is 'sigh'.

hahaha it's kinda funny... knowing the people who used to be always around you turn their head away, and you start to feel unwanted. and all the conversation you did feels disconnected all of sudden. it's also funny the way you feel wanted before, and starting to ask yourself who the hell want you. my suggestion is just take a break, pause everything for a while, keep distant, have some other fun, don't get mad to other people, and keep smiling. you know the best remedies are... music, sing whatever however you want, it helps A LOT.

i don't know if it helps or not, because mine isn't. i don't know what's wrong, maybe it's just my trial to learn how to live without them, because we'll live apart starting from the next 2 months.

okay let's forget those stupid things.

NOW, i wanna tell you guys. i grow up with Glee this whole senior years. as in Glee that they'll be graduate next 2 months, and so do i. this is very sad knowing part of them will leave, and so do mine. i cried for the latest episode, this is the first time i'm thinking that gay-love could be so romantic. and all the sad atmosphere is soooooooo touching, BECAUSE it happens in my life. exactly the same!! nuff said.

It's Their Life

i know this is not my right to tell people how they dress up, either i'm not a religious people. but when i see people unveiled themselves i feel like... oh my God what you are up to?. in my religion, Islam, it's a kind of a must to cover a part of body (aurat). for women, they have to cover their head using a kind of veil and cover their body with long-sleeve dress (or something that doesn't show their curve of body). some of my friends use veil also, but unfortunately there are some individuals who don't really respect the using of veils itself. they use it in school as a normal pretty nice girl, but they take it off when they hang out with their friends, put some photos on social network without covering their head. i don't blame them, because it's their right to do what they wanna do. but then i feel bad, because they're my friends too, even though we're not really close. isn't that what friends are for? friends are there to remind us which is wrong and which is right. they have their best friends too, what do their best friends do when they see them like that?. it's been my inner war for this whole time, i am no body to remind them, but i -at least- know them, and that feels wrong if i'm just shut up and let anybody do something bad. it's like you're a friend of thief.

so, all this long i force myself to just shut up, i choose to be a friend of thief, even though i know it's wrong. i know i'm not a good person yet. my close friends told me:

"it's their life, we have our own. let them do whatever they want, its their sins if they keep doing it, but we are nobody to them, so why we even think about their life. they don't think about us though. it's useless"

but still i feel like i wanna tell them, and then it's ended up i'm pulling myself not to let the war happens and going offline. i'm not giving up on them, i just don't want to care about them anymore. i'm sorry if i offend anybody, this is what i feel. i write it here because i feel i'm being annoying for some of my friends lately if i  tell this story again again and again.

i know this post is kinda sarcastic because i'm telling about my religion rule. but the headline here is to turn the wrong in to the right, you know everybody - if they're in my position, have the same mind set as mine - they'll definitely do the same.

Road to Boyolali (Part 4)

once again Boyolali is my neighbor town where my friend, Andit, live. this is my fourth time going there. we have so much fun on the way. Ade rode motorcycle with me (i was in the back), we talked SO MUCH, and laughed so much. for that day sched we decided to go to Selo, it's a kind of highland in Boyolali. the place is awesome with cold-chilly breeze. we have sooo much fun, as what i've said 'there's nothing to regret' :)

You May, but ...

this is dedicated to a friend of mine, my tiny friend "chin up, pretty!!"

i know when you like someone, it's hard like hell to move on. one day you say to yourself, 'this is nut, why i have to fall to this guy. from now on i won't think about him again, ever!'. but, then the next day you accidentally listen a whiny sad love song which reminds you to the story of you. and then you keep repeat that bullshit beneath your heart, you fight your feeling away without even realizing what's the root of your problem. you don't let it all go, you haven't wanted them to be disappeared, even you keep them soundly deep in your heart. that's a major problem of what we called 'ikhlas' or sincere.

and sometimes you over use the social media. nowadays, you can share everything you want on internet. that's it! sometimes you really really need to keep everything to yourself or your best friend, don't let anyone know your feeling. the more people you let them know about your life, the more you getting fragile, oh no, it should be the more you THINK you're fragile, because you want all the attention of people, you make yourself fragile with letting anybody knows your problem. i don't prohibit you to share, it's good to share, it's good to have everybody's attention, it's good to express yourself, but people have rules which is you have to know the limitation of sharing your feeling in this unreal world. please try the real one, tell your buddies what's your feeling because they might have the solution or your mother, you know the phrase 'mother knows best' it does indeed.

another alternative is you can share it by writing it on your blog, beside you can develop your skill of writing it also is more private media to share than twitter or facebook, or you can just write to yourself and not publish it. by writing, you can feel relieved, there's a self-pride when you see so many letters line up in your monitor and those are the crops of your own mind.

and when you're alone, try to avoid listening silly-sad-love song which usually drag you in the situation in that situation. or the big one is always try to keep yourself as busy as you can be, keep yourself in a crowd. also, ask your friend to always remind you, to always say 'it's not worth to be sad'. make a sharp note on your notebook, mobile phone, wall in your bedroom, that'll always remind you to be strong, or you can make a tattoo if your parents permit it.

and this is what i always say to my friends 'smile, please!', because smile is the cheapest easiest remedies for all people. i always suggest them to look at the mirror, say whatever you wanna say to yourself, and wrap it up nicely with smile. it sounds lame, but sometimes it really works on me, so you should try.
you're allowed to be sad, but its percentage have to be less than the time you smile and laugh. be happy!! cheer up!!

Good Bye and Good Luck

The time has come to say goodbye
My turn to leave, how time does fly!
Seeing many things here over the years
Hopes, dreams, laughter and tears

For many friends the end is now here
Although the memories will be so dear
Life out of Newpin is about to begin for me
Taking the lessons we learnt herein

Although I'm sad to leave right now
They’ll be things that will remind me of this day
Those special people who made it all worthwhile
You know who you, you made me smile

As we look back at the past few years
Remembering the times, we have had here
Ones to remember, ones we’ll want to forget
And on the first day here when we frist met.

You will see how much you can learn from here.
But as you enter on into your future here i hope
you too find what your looking for whatever it may be.
Goodbye friends and to everyone good luck! 

Good Bye and Good Luck by Ruth Warren

maybe you wonder, why I'm such a lil girl talking the whole shit about love. let's face it i'm surrounded with people who suffer for puppy love, and again i live in Tumblr, means i learned from quotes. and let me say movies affect me the best ;)

Ridiculously True

for girls, falling for a boy is a gambling....

since girls are such sensitive and emotional creature, they take a heart of all kind of kindnesses. you know, when one day a boy talk to you, you feel like 'oh he's a nice person', the more they talk to you the more you feel like he's your friend already. moreover, if they have the mutual thing with you, for example he likes painting and so do you, then you two talk the same topic first, each gives one information to another, then the talk begins to be wider, not just a hobby-talk. he starts talking about his life and asking about your life, trust me, in this stage you will be flown high above the sky, because all you feel is he's already the close person of you, while you have no clue about what's on his mind. i don't know either what mostly boy feels, i just know they comfortable with it, they know you are their close person too, but i think they feel it's just what it is. meaning: he feels that you are his friend (dot)

day by day second by second, your curiosity kills. curiosity even sometimes feels stronger than the feeling that you fall for him. you wanna know what he feels so bad, you stalk every single of his social media account, and you try to solve all the puzzle inside your head. you connect every single words he said, you tie it up, but still you just keep it to yourself and the whole curiosity haven't disappeared because you just guessing. when he flirts, you feel like 'yes.. yes i know he feels the same', but wait hold on lady. you need to be careful in making conclusion, wait a sec and look again, if he flirts to another person too, meaning it's just his habit, you know, joking around flirting around. yeah it's not bad, but i feel bad for the one who is flirted.

it turns out your 'just curiosity' makes you like ' aaarrrgghhh c'mon i really wanna know what's on your heart', then one day you decide to drop some hints. you keep text him asking anything talking about anything, when he looks into your eyes you try to look at him back as deep as you can in order to make him know your heart, but one ever told me 'guy is the dumbest in taking a hint, until you write it down on their face, literally'.

see, this is why girls gambling. they love him, but they afraid to admit it but they do it anyway. commonly, girls don't ask boys out, so they just wait. they are lucky enough if the boy feel the same way, but they'll keep living pathetically hiding their heart away if the boy doesn't. ridiculous, but true...