Well, where should i start first?

This overwhelming feeling

It's not that i feel less worthy than i am right now

I think my life is perfect

But i guess people move on with their life, on their phases, with their own speed

I should be thankful

I have the best people God could ever gave

All the support that i get, all the love i should have received well

I once denied it, but when i close my eyes it's crystal clear

Even before i talked about it, i already know what's troubling my head but i refused to admit it

Maybe because i compare myself with people so i feel that way, it triggered the feeling i haven't felt in so long

There's a hole

I couldn't even face my own reflection while thinking about it

I spit it out, telling myself i wasn't supposed to be this weak

It almost feel like a heartbreak with the current situation

It feels like i'm in a transparent box, it's not dark i can still see things outside, i can still spectate the interactions outside but i can't interact outside the box

It is just me mingling with the situation, being all smiley and nice, but alone in the box

What a strange state of mind, thinking that i don't deserve the love in the world

I mean, 'not a leaf falls without His plan' is my mantra

'no one rushes you, go your own speed' is my ideal

What was i thinking?

I wish i feel better when i wake up