Now i feel full and content, as grief and blessing poured all over me.
My grandpa was just passed away few days ago. I was already prepared for this for a year, i always looked for the airplane ticket possibility if i was about to go home today, the next day, the next next day and so on. I already knew this day would come eventually, and He chose the wednesday of last week of november. I rushed to get ticket as fast as i can, wrapped my work as cool as i can, asked permission to my colleague calmly while holding back my tears.
I was so turbulent on my way home, too embarassed to cry, too sad to just stand still. So i cried when the airplane lamp was dimmed.
I thought i would cry my heart out when i reached home, but my family was just too tough to compete, they hid their tears away, so i did too. Everything was so unreal. My dad doesn't have any parents anymore, house felt so quite then, my mom will always be home alone.
He's the teacher, the headmaster, the imam, the best grandpa God ever gave. He's the one to make me taste the sweetness of vitamin c and the bitterness of vitamin b. Now, he's gone. The last time i shake his hand was last month when he's in the hospital and i'm about to go back to the city. I live my whole life with him, yet i took him for granted, i'm sorry grandpa, i'm so sorry.
God please, give him Your best place, make him rest in super peace, take his pain away, please.

In my deepest sorrow i decided to go back to city immediately, i'm afraid i can't take it if i stayed longer at home, i'm afraid the sadness will consume my day. Yet the next day i have to say goodbye to two of my colleagues, so instead i grieve too much, i can share my bubbliness and comfort to my friends. And thank God, it was best decision i could ever made.

The farewell of mas miftah and mba laras was going so smooth. I never thought we can finish our work early and went karaoke-ing for three hours. The timing, the song and the moment was just too good to be true, everybody's happy i guess, and they were touched. I could tell because mas miftah was so poetical texting me gratitude.

Now, i'm on the train listening to Lovesong of The cure feeling blessed and grateful that i can have both my family and my friends, and now i'm going to meet my also important person, my best friend since high school, we both had made an effort to make this vacation possible so i won't ruin it with my sob story, i know my grandpa want me to be happy so i will try to do so while keep remembering him